Win what?

Why does John McCain keep talking about "winning" the war in Iraq? Win what? How do you define "winning"?

Historically speaking, one side wins a war when the enemy surrenders, or when the vanquishing is so complete one side is no longer able to field a competitive force, a de facto surrender. Even Japan was able to manage a formal surrender at the end of WWII, which made it official and brought on VJ day, complete with bend-back kissing on Times Square.

But how do you "win" when there is no clear enemy, no one to actually surrender? Who is the "enemy" in Iraq? Since that poor country did not attack its attackers and occupiers, with whom are we seeking revenge for deeds perpetrated on apple-pie America? The Sunnis, whom we are paying to not fight us? The Shi-ites, whose militias have stood down at the order of Moqtada al-Sadr, but who are quite capable of firing up once again? The Kurds, who are more interested in oil and a homeland than in fighting with anyone, except perhaps the Turks?

Whom does that leave? The government, installed by the U.S. and finally reflecting the ethnic makeup of the country (and who, by the way, wants us out ASAP)? The warlords, the actual governors of the country, whom we have paid off anyway? Al-Qaeda, which is not a fighting force or potential government, but a collection of terrorists and jihadists who were not even in the country before we invaded?

Whom do we turn to for a surrender, to legitimize our "victory"? Perhaps when we have killed every Iraqi in sight will we be able to bend back some more women on Times Square.

Perhaps we should treat this as a football game, with a scoreboard to indicate which "side" is leading, and which side will eventually "win". Each kill could count as one point. Each number-two man in al-Qaeda we kill, or each member of our grotesque deck of cards eliminated can count as ten. At the end of a pre-determined (by the Pentagon of course) date for victory, whoever has the most points is decided the "winner" and gets to bend back the ladies. Better not make it a soccer game, though; we just might "lose" that one.

Then McCain would have his "win". He could throw his Navy cap in triumph and bend Cindy back (carefully, of course), and jab his finger at the naysayers who stood for less killing and more peace, a thoroughly contemptible philosophy in light of our historic "victory".

In fact, of course, there is no victory in Iraq, only death and tragedy inflicted on an unsuspecting people by the most powerful nation in history, not a legacy of glory to take into the history books. When McCain stops talking stupid and begins to join most of humanity in demanding an end to the pointless carnage, then he will be eligible to rejoin the human race.

-jcscrib